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Owning It.

Owning It.

b-o-y-s. boy, oh, boy

Did I get your attention? I know, it's a pretty atypical whollybeezus topic. 

I’m breaking the rules, in fact. I’m a straight-up rebel rouser today. When I started this blog my dearest lil friend Ljeeps asked,

"b, whatcha gonna write about?"

Valid question. [should shrug]. Umm, well let’s see. I told her I'd be writing about health, wellness, vegetables, various new workouts, roasted vegetables, Trader Joe's, probably the vegetables I find at Trader Joe's... You get the point. 

Gotcha, makes sense. "But what about boys", she asked. "You know, dating?" UGH. No, never.  

Well we're gonna fudge the rules today. Now, I could probably fill pages including posts about the randomness I’ve encountered while dating in Chicago. I know my gal pals could definitely supplement a couple crazy stories as well. At one point we even joked about joining forces to co-author "The MAN-ual",  a simple 101 dating guide to show dudes how to best communicate with the ladies. [no more K-bombs, okay??]. It'd be pure entertainment, people. And I'll say for the most part, my dating experiences have been pretty harmless and oftentimes hilarious. Once a guy took me to Chicago’s Hot Dog Fest on our first date. It was a blast. Come on, that ‘ish is fun, funny and the best kind of random. 

But just the thought of spilling my guts about anything too personal on here gives me hives. Buzz bee… those honeycomb HIVES. 

However, as I said before, I’m breaking the rules- slightly. Baby steps, you know. We'll dip our toe into a dating story, but tie it back to beezus, of course. I want to chat about the topic of owning it. Girl boss status. We all want to be one, but sometimes it’s not easy to strut the confidence to own your ‘ish, lil b. 

Let’s rewind a little to last summer. I was on date. I’d been seeing this guy for awhile now. We were beyond the typical...

"Oh, what do you do for work?" - That’s cool!

"Tell me about your family" - Wow, your aunt sounds crazy.

"How long have you lived in Chicago?" - Phew, long time, but it sure doesn’t feel that long.

Sound familiar, gals? Anyways, we were at Durkins in Old Town. Second bar of the night. A few drinks in and he started talking about coding. [geek alert]. Just jokes. He was an engineer, and yes, slightly geeky, but a genuinely really nice guy. 

Now, for starters, I know nothing about coding. So for those of you who know me personally, you’re probably laughing right now. Aside from my ‘advanced' Snapchat capabilities, I’m slightly challenged in the technology department. But anyways, I sat.  I listened. I asked questions, because that's what I do. He told me stories about how he discovered a hobby for coding. He studied it. He learned to love it. He had a goal. And eventually he invented the backend capabilities for some proprietary music jukebox [don’t ask me questions; I couldn’t try to reexplain it if my life depended on it]. I nodded. I smiled. I gave the occasional ‘cool!’ or ‘awesome’. And it was genuinely cool and awesome! 

Even though the topic of coding was well beyond anything I could comprehend, it didn’t matter. The point is that it was refreshing to see someone so innately passionate about something. His eyes lit up; he was expressive as he talked about it [hand gestures to the max!]. He was a geeky engineer who loved to code. He owned it. 

He asked me about my hobbies and interests. And at this time, I was in the midst of figuring out @Whollybeezus, my IG [the blog wasn't even in the picture]. But - 100% - it was my current passion project and side hustle, even if I couldn’t have articulated it then. And for some reason I didn’t want to bring it up. Perhaps it was the notion that I didn't feel like an ‘expert’ on health and wellness [nor would I ever be], I didn’t look like I fit the part [I'm not this pinnacle image of health, but who really is?!], or I simply had this perception that he just wouldn’t get it. Whatever it was, I held it back. I wasn't able to own it then. 

So what holds you back from truly owning something? Why couldn't I declare that I was building this kick-A Instagram account? 

When we share close and dear things about ourselves with others - hobbies, passions, interests - we open the door to becoming vulnerable. No one likes living in a state of vulnerability for a prolonged or even short period of time [I don’t, at least]. I think there’s a subconscious fear that we’ll be judged as a result of sharing the innermost things that power happiness in our lives.  

I think the lesson learned is that sometimes you just have to take a leap. Celebrate what makes you happy and share it with others. Own it. Unapologetically. Yes, it's probably much easier to declare this in retrospect, but it feels damn good when you’re finally able to champion something you love and believe in. 

And thanks, Engineer-E. After all this time that conversation has stuck with me. It annoyed me. I should have spoken up. Goodness gracious, I listened to all your jazz about coding :) But, perhaps it nudged me to begin owning whollybeezus just a smidgen more. Or maybe I’m giving you too much credit [ha!]. I do believe that we meet certain people for a reason, no matter how long or short they stay in our lives. Cheers!

This weekend I’m going to a Soul Cycle charity event AND I’m planning to make pizza using a cauliflower crust for the first time. I’m excited. Like UBER excited. Girl, I’m owing that ‘ish. 

Ain't No Thang Like a [Cauliflower Crust] Pizza Party

Ain't No Thang Like a [Cauliflower Crust] Pizza Party

Beezy Ventures to Chicago's Green City Farmer's Market

Beezy Ventures to Chicago's Green City Farmer's Market